LJ no more

2017-Apr-11, Tuesday 11:59 pm
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LiveJournal was sold several years ago and has gone through a few changes in the interim. The most recent has left me unable to continue cross-posting from Dreamwidth, which also breaks the FB posting. More importantly, there is a new USER agreement, which isn't binding in English, even though there is an English version that has to be agreed to before really continuing on. Other issues have presented as well, with a number of people I follow/respect choosing to leave the service entirely. I'll miss the RSS functionality of it (most of what I've seen for the past few years has been the feeds from a few sites) but considering how many others left from peak usage I'll not really miss a lot.
I may remember to post links to these entries manually, I may investigate the ITTT thing that I've noticed one other person using, most likely FB will no longer get any link that leads to my journal anymore.

At the start of the weekend just been I started playing Star Trek: Timelines. Progress slowed down as I've found normal for the sort of game it is, but I'm expecting to keep playing for quite a while. The last of these that I played held my interest for most of a year.

Easter weekend is going to see me spending three of the four days gaming, with three different groups. I'm not really sure what games I'll play, although I can guess at one on the Monday.

13 years

2016-Aug-09, Tuesday 11:57 pm
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The weekend just been marked 13 years since I shifted to this part of Christchurch and went flatting for the first time. I spent nearly 3.5 years at that flat, with one constant flatmate and others changing each year, before spending a month in Shirley while looking for another place. Which ended up being this flat, where I've been a little over 9.5 years now.
The fact I suddenly had access to the internet where I lived led to a few things changing, the amount of books I read being the most obvious change. I'd read more than 240 books in 2002, in 2004 it was only 50 and (especially if you discount what I managed to read at work) the more recent years have been pitiful in comparison. If my computer was more up to date at the time I might have been more inclined to play online, even with me being generally poor at RTS games. The connection issues I've had in the past was part of the reason I didn't play as much Settlers of Catan online as I might have, I didn't want to waste the time of opponents.

Before I really woke up last Wednesday someone was in the house fixing the heat pump. By the time I left my room it had been working long enough to make a massive difference in how warm the lounge felt. I've spent much of this week sitting on my recliner again, using the TV to play YouTube videos. If I had more cash reserves I'd probably have purchased a copy of RimWorld after the amount of YouTube Let's Play and the like I've been watching. Then again, I might have purchased a copy of Factorio a couple of months ago with bigger cash reserves.

I played Kingsburg tonight for the first time in a long time, after not feeling at all interested when it's been played by others all this year. I got resources easily early and was never lacking the ability to build something I wanted, aside from the second last season where I chose to not build so I could be assured of getting the last building I wanted. Even without me rolling high I didn't have many "bad" rolls and probably won on the back of that luck.
During the evening I also had the realisation that I've now been using the pseudonym Avron for very nearly half of my life. It was a few months into my time at Polytech that I first started using it and unless it's unavailable I don't use any other account name.

Immersion in games

2016-Feb-09, Tuesday 10:41 pm
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One of the things that I see frequently in game reviews is a mention of how the reviewer felt like they were a merchant, or commander, or whatever it is they are playing in the game. This is not something that I can recall ever having experienced, whether in board games or video games, or any other. When I play a game I am always completely aware that I am playing, and never spend any time feeling like I was something other than a 21st century geek playing with paper, wood, plastic, and cardboard.
There's a similar issue with the books I've read over the past 30 years. At no point do I recall feeling I was in the story at all. I have always been reading the words, barely even picturing the action in my head.

I have continued to listen to more of the Star Trek podcast I started listening to about 10 days ago, and haven't got through as many episodes over the week as I did in the first few days, partly due to watching more YouTube, and partly due to actually going out to game for more of the past week than I have recently managed.

Last Wednesday was hosted at the close location and I went along hoping to play Princes of Florence, shortly before we might have started a game more people showed up leaving the numbers not good and I ended up playing a couple of games of The Castles of Burgundy instead. Both of which I won, seemingly due to the other players being out of practice and weary from work etc.
Thursday night I'd managed to 'convince' a couple of other people to play Alchemists at SAGA. Four of us, with a grand total of four prior games between us, and things went a lot smoother than my prior two games. My expectation, and hope, is that we got lucky as far as determining the relationships between ingredients as the only wrong declaration was mine where I had a 50/50 chance of having it and wanted to be first to publish.
Yesterday the Monday group played for nearly 8 hours, thanks to the public holiday. I won the game I taught at the start of the afternoon, partially due to the poor explanation I managed to give the couple that sat down with me. Everything else I played I lost, some of which I wasn't even close to winning. I still had a good time and wouldn't object to more days like that. Next week is the last at that location, and instead of them shifting further away like the other relocations have been, they'll be marginally closer so my walk time won't be quite as long.

Entry 600

2014-Feb-11, Tuesday 11:41 pm
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600 entries, just over 10 years, and apart from who I spend time with and the amount of games I play I feel my life is barely changed. Logically that's obviously false but I don't feel different. (The count of entries is based on both the LJ and DW profile pages. The archive program I have indicates this is entry 606.) Most of last year I was managing to post an entry a week, probably not a lot that was of import but I'm of the opinion it was good for me to write more. I'm going to try and continue that this year which may mean I start writing at other times as well, although I doubt it. It's practically a given that I won't be posting much more than that though, I just don't feel that I have much to say anymore.

In my last entry I posted about feeling ill, about an hour later I was sick and spent the next three hours dozing and getting back up to vomit more. Apart from missing games Wednesday night and deciding to not work on the Friday there doesn't seem to have been any other repercussions and I remember a night about a year after I moved in here being worse. But when it was the second time in as many months after not actually being sick anywhere near that often I'm hoping I'm done for quite some time.

Last week I spent a while playing my Rock Band game, getting through the Easy level completely and some of the Medium. I also started a second user name that I've been playing with the Lefty Flip enabled. Many of the scores with that name are better than I managed right handed.

In the arena of board games:
I went to my second Stray Dog Board Games event and was there about eight hours, playing a few good games. My definite intention is to keep going back each month.
SAGA assets have been moved to the new location for this year meaning that Monday Night games has about half as many games available now. With it also being further away from me now the hosts have shifted I have to walk further so I may be a little less inclined to bring any of my games along.

Last week I saw a FB post about these things and went back to see if the site still had mine from the first time I found out about them in 2006. It did. johari and nohari
I suppose if people were to add to them now it could be indication of what has changed.

Camp in some detail

2014-Jan-09, Thursday 02:16 am
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Saturday )

Sunday )

Monday )

I was, as expected, not feeling great when I woke on the final day, knowing I was going to be travelling again soon enough left me with no appetite. As such I didn't bother with breakfast, spent a while vacuuming where I'd been asked to, and mostly just walked around with the little one once she'd been fed.

The end of 2013

2013-Dec-31, Tuesday 08:09 pm
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Only a few hours left of 2013 and I can't decided if that's good or bad. My life is now much as it was a year ago. Some of my friendships are better, some have faded, some might as well be over. I'm still playing board games a lot more than most other people, but it seems to have dropped somewhat. I had a short term relationship halfway through the year. My job situation is definitely not better, it's probably worse thanks to the temp agency that's now in charge of organising things.
On the whole though, I'm who I was, living where and with whom I was, spending most of my time in the same ways I was a year ago.

My Christmas Eve didn't end up as I'd expected it to. Instead of leaving the games day early in the evening I ended up staying there until about 0200 and not going to the other thing I'd planned to attend. I did get to play a bunch of games while I was there though, three of which were new to me. A couple of days after Christmas I went to another small game day and was fortunate enough to be given a couple of games by friends that are wanting to reduce their collections. As such I now have a copy of Die Macher which I'm unfortunately confident won't get much use.

At some point last night my flatmate put a new router in at the flat, since then my connection to the internet has been poor at best, most of the time since then it's been non-existent. This means that I'm going to struggle to finalise my annual "Five & Dime" geeklist at BGG, which I started last week when I decided to make somewhat practical use of my time. I'd probably write more apart from expecting to lose the connection again.

Things are looking up.

2013-Aug-20, Tuesday 11:09 pm
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I am soon having a long weekend away, starting in 36 hours and lasting until Sunday night. This has led to me choosing to work tomorrow instead of what I know would be more fun; Mainly Music and hopefully spending time with a friend. After I finish at work I'll be home only briefly and then I'm going to head out for another walk to go collect Guitars for the PS2 Guitar Hero game. Which should lead me to spend at least some time using my PS2 again after not having it plugged in for most of the past year.
This also means that tomorrow would have almost no time to just sit and relax if I went out to games in the evening. As I'll need to sort things for my time away I'm definitely missing game night again. Which isn't actually a surprise or anything, I'm just not sure how I feel about missing so many Wednesday nights.

The possibility of having company again has led to me tidying up the place a little more. Probably not enough that it would be noticed by anyone else but I've been making slow progress to removing the accumulated debris. It remains an annoyance that I require the external motivation to actually make improvements to my life. I remain very content in the status quo.

My spending habits remain less controlled than would be best. I spent about $75 on Saturday when I went out to get bread, finally buying a couple of DVDs I'd wanted for a while, and getting some others that I knew I'd enjoy. That's led to even more time in front of the TV here, watching through DVDs that I hadn't seen in a long time as well as some of the new ones. Next week I expect to watch through Dark Angel which was the biggest spend.

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With the advent of work becoming more available I find myself less inclined to agree to the shifts, more inclined to take time off for the least reason. Until I start sleeping to a better schedule I expect that will continue. After nearly a decade I have neither managed to sleep in the afternoons (apart from the 9 months I did so some afternoon on a couch at my prior flat) or go to bed at a reasonable hour even when I don't have work the following day. This is one of the reasons I don't believe myself to be an adult save in the sense of having lived long enough.

Sneezing for much of Sunday while I watched DVDs left me thinking that I should cancel work, and possibly would have if not for it being the weekend. I considered, but was still foolish enough to not bother, going to bed early. I had a similar Monday morning, to the extent that I left work early. And again, contrary to what would be wise, barely slept in the afternoon. I seem to be about back to normal again, I've barely sneezed at all today and don't feel coldy so I'll be going back on Thursday if there's work available then.

My intention, currently, is that I will go out tomorrow night, to attend Wednesday night games for the first time in a month. Largely as the host for tomorrow night has 'purchased' a game I own and I need to get it to her. The game was given to me, as it's previous owner had acquired more than he wanted, and after a single game I knew I didn't want to play it more.
Apart from missing Wednesday nights I've been gaming about as much as normal recently, just not as much of the 'heavier' games as I'd like. Largely as a result of who's been around most at SAGA and Monday nights. Having also started playing Tzolk'in online recently (and getting crushed as normal) has probably made me a little more inclined to play simpler games in person.


2013-Aug-06, Tuesday 11:54 pm
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I actually stayed at church throughout the entire service on Sunday. I didn't stay in the auditorium though, instead heading out to the foyer and listening via the ceiling speakers. A couple of women hugged me when they saw me, as a result of the breakup a week earlier, which was unexpected. I was also asked if I'd "mentor" a particular child during the Children's Church and had to say no as I'm still not expecting to be around all that often. After the service I spent a little while with some of the youngest children.

Yet again I've been voted onto the SAGA committee as Quartermaster. The rest of the committee is mainly the same as last year, this year's President stepped down to the role of Treasurer and a new club member has become the new President for 2014. It is possible I'll also be assuming some of the Promotions role as the current officer isn't wanting to do the web site stuff.

Yet again I'm going to be at Mainly Music in the morning. This time because I've been told I could work all week and have decided against it. When it's been 2.5 years since I did a full five day week, and I average only two days a week, it seems like a bad idea to try and get up at 0500 and then work five days in a row. An idea that seems even worse after I came close to turning off my alarm this morning instead of getting up and getting ready for work.

More Change

2013-Jul-30, Tuesday 11:43 pm
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This most recent week has been quite a mix of good and bad. I worked everyday besides Monday last week, leading to an expectation of a lot (comparatively) of money in my account tonight. I also managed to deal with the physical stress, etc. a lot better than I'd expected and could probably have managed to work the Monday as well. On the other hand I am, as of tomorrow, no longer employed by PMP itself and will instead be going back to employment through a temp agency. From what I've been told it's not actually going to make any real difference to my work but it's mildly annoying to have to deal with the changes. As it's an agency new to Christchurch (they've been working with the Auckland branch) there isn't other work yet, but if I get off my butt I may manage to get work at other locations, maybe even somewhere that relies on my mental abilities instead of physical.

What I sort of hinted at in the last paragraph of last weeks entry has come to pass. I am again single, this time after just over 2.5 months. She decided that we weren't going to be seeing each other enough, especially with her moving further away, and things are now over. I miss her, which isn't surprising when I was missing her during the month we barely managed to see each other and were primarily communicating online. Like I expected however, I'm basically back to how I was regarding spending of time, and am wondering whether or not I should see about game playing this Saturday with a few of the SAGA group.

Sunday I was only at Church for about 30 minutes before I left and went to do my grocery shopping, I'm still not sure whether I'll continue to attend and stay in the service or skip attending at all. There's going to be at least one Sunday a month that I'll have gaming things on so I will almost certainly be skipping those days. As to Mainly Music, I haven't been offered work for tomorrow, which is why I'm still up instead of trying to sleep, so I'll be heading along there in the morning. There's a good chance I'll be leaving there before the end as well, although I will be staying at least long enough to put some of the equipment away.


2013-Jul-23, Tuesday 10:47 pm
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I've decided that there are a number of things in my life that are there through habit and tradition more than anything else. As such, from today I'm making some changes, for a time at least, to test the theory that I'm just going through the motions.
I don't know if I'm going to stop going to church entirely or start staying in the service instead of going out to help mind children but one of those two things is happening. I have also decided that I will not be going to help with Mainly Music on Wednesdays unless I have not been offered work for that day.
Gaming is not likely to take quite as much time as it has previously from now on as well. I think that half or more of the Wednesday night sessions will be missed by me from now on (which has sort of started happening already). MNS and SAGA are both a lot closer and at better times for me, I'm also no longer at all inclined to walk the distance that the original WNG location requires. If I get work as often as I hope to, I'll be leaving the MNS sessions a lot earlier than I have been also.

With the lack of work I had over the prior four months I've felt out of shape during my recent days back and am expecting to struggle if I accept the work I've been assured is available for the rest of this week. Just before I stopped getting work I did a four day week and was tired then, after having had work for most of the prior weeks. I also dropped another couple of kgs due to inactivity and the subsequent not eating. I believe I've lost nearly 10% of my body mass over the past six months. The short period of time I have between getting home from work and wanting to go out gaming is enough for me to cook and eat, but often not long enough for me to feel like bothering. I need to work on that.

For someone that doesn't really expect anything to last (pessimism and all) it's surprising how often I'm shocked by things that end the status quo. And for someone that hates change the speed at which I adjust to my new normal seems odd.

avron: (pink)

I spent much of my Saturday watching children's DVDs at a friends place. Very relaxing especially as I got a few hugs, and the lack of internet wasn't really noticed by me during my time there. Being somewhere with a fire was also a welcome change to here with the heat-pump, the heat each provides is different in some way. I did realise that I should have worn a coat of some sort for the walk there and back though. Even if I did feel colder for most of the walk there than I did while walking home.

Buckets of Dice is approaching, with just under three weeks until I spend most of a three day period at the University playing games. I've been trying to work out if I'll be able to run a game of Quantum Werewolf in person, dealing with the state resolution during the breaks between sessions. I think I've figured out how to do it, but the time involved may be prohibitive. In addition to that I hope to play a bunch of games, and see at least one person attend that doesn't come along to SAGA.

I need to get a little better about judging how long games are going to take I think, last night we played a game of First Sparks that ended up going longer than it should have due in part to teaching. Similar issues have come up with other games in the past months, I've expected the game to be over noticeably earlier than it was. This isn't usually a problem, especially at SAGA as we don't really have a set time for leaving, but last night it held up the rest of the group and that's not something to be ignored.

After a friend starting getting rid of excess stuff he had last year I started thinking about finally getting rid of the extra books and other things I've accumulated over the years. Unsurprisingly nothing came of it then, but I got a little motivation just recently and uncovered the relevant box last night. As such I may be offering a number of books to good homes in the next week or two, mainly Trek stuff as I manage to acquire duplicates easily. (Over 300 in my collection leads to memory lapses regarding what I own, what I've read, what I want to own, etc. etc.)

A few random things.

2013-May-07, Tuesday 11:57 pm
avron: (bike)

I'm continuing to get a reasonable amount of work, and I've been informed I'm owed about $150 in tax refund for a couple of years back. Money shouldn't be an issue in the immediate future. This is good as I'm intending to take some holidays this year and having money to pay for such is useful. At some point I should make use of the gift cards I've been acquiring as well.

After a couple of weeks without Mainly Music (due to holidays) I'm going back tomorrow. I'm looking forward to seeing the children again, some of whom seem to like trying to get me to dress up which is odd. It's also a far more pleasant morning waking at 0900 instead of 0500 and being in a room of (mostly) happy children instead of a room of loud machinery.

At some point in March, after finally finishing StarCraft, and StarCraft: Brood Wars, legitimately (more than a decade after first playing them) I started making a list of all the PC games I own that I had purchased and then not completed. With the intention of installing those that I could on this laptop and then playing them more. A matter of days after I got the list complete I purchased LEGO: Star Wars on Steam and started playing that instead. Not long before I finished playing that (67% and each level finished apart from special things) I got Portal and Portal 2 which I have also finished now. I'm going to try and avoid buying more games there, even though there are others I want, so I can play at least one of the many game I already own.

A Spotify user has created a playlist that contains all the UK #1 songs from 1958 through to today, over the space of a couple of weeks I listened to most of that playlist in around other things. I've definitely been made aware of how much I prefer the older music than recent pop music. I think I skipped a couple of songs that would have been released before I was born. I gave up on the playlist as it got to what would have been 2005 or so I think.

Winter is coming.

2013-Apr-09, Tuesday 11:52 pm
avron: (bike)

My hope is that my mood this past week (since my last entry) is directly attributable to the change in weather, as if it is I'll adjust soon enough to the cold and be back to my level self. If it's not the weather that brought about how I started feeling a week ago though I'm not sure what could be responsible apart from the lack of work and resulting food/sleep choices. That would not bode well for me.

Last Wednesday morning I woke up in plenty of time for Mainly Music, much as I have for most of the past few years when I've been intending to help, and might have avoided going if not for the fact I'm expected to be there. Going along didn't really help my mood any and I left earlier than I normally would have, to come home and sit here playing games. My mood improved enough by the evening that I headed out to Game Night where I won two of the three games I played (and had what was probably one of my best scores in the other game) but once I returned home I felt down again.

Thursday night I went to SAGA where I played Galaxy Trucker using both expansions and had a good time with the new stuff but apart from that my mood was much as it had been. To the point that I came close to not going out on Friday when given the opportunity to see someone I don't see enough and play games. That alone is enough to make me wonder if something specific has happened to alter my mood long term. Luckily I did go out, and apart from the normal issues regarding food etc. I had a good time.

Saturday a friend had his birthday party, his home draped with sheets to make a blanket fort. I spent most of the early evening just sitting around, the same way I do at most gatherings there, listening to the conversations and being entertained by those that drink. Come mid-morning there were a few of us left in the lounge, three or four had already been drifting off to sleep and I decided that I couldn't be bothered heading home either. I ended up lying on the couch for a few hours with a friend resting her head on my shoulder while she slept.
After leaving once people were up and moving around again on Sunday I nearly skipped church because of the lack of sleep but made it along in time to go help in the Crèche, where I ended up trying to stop a couple of the 'adults' fighting with little hammers.

Monday I went along to games again, with a small detour to the Uni to show yet another friend where a meeting was happening. Up until the game of WereWolf I actually spent most of my time distracted by the toddler that is present each week (this isn't actually uncommon there). He seems to take great delight in placing ping pong balls in glasses or other receptacles and then tipping them back out. I still wasn't back to normal last night though, I didn't actually make any record of the games I played while I was out, something that would probably shock a few people from the games groups.

I'm old again.

2013-Mar-19, Tuesday 11:48 pm
avron: (pink)

Yesterday was my 32nd birthday and it was good. I've taken a few days off work so I've been sleeping in and playing games in the evenings.
Last night I got to gaming a little early and ended up playing one of the games I'd been wanting to play during the evening, before getting to play a few simpler games, including another couple of games of Werewolf, and my first game of Jungle Speed for about four months.

On Friday afternoon RBC started a café that I went along to so the little children could be occupied. In the evening I went to the Pallet Pavilion and played a few games that I'm not likely to get to play elsewhere, including a game that relies on listening to cubes as they fall down a tower. I didn't get to see one person I'd hoped to see, and another was only flying back to the city so she couldn't come along. I did get to see others that I like though, and may be seeing more as there are a couple of new players to the group.

Sunday I spent most of Church in the Crèche minding some of the little children, and while I didn't get to see everyone I wanted to it was still good. I didn't head out in the afternoon like I'd thought I might, largely a result of not leaving Church until almost 1300 and the fact it was wet.

Tonight I went to SAGA again and we've acquired a few new games, two of which were played there. We also acquired about 2000 card sleeves, most of which I'll be using in the coming week.

I got nearly 40 separate well-wishes from people on FaceBook, various other in-person messages and a couple of text messages. Probably a few other birthday messages as well, this seems like a lot for me.

Dungeon World is fun.

2013-Mar-12, Tuesday 11:58 pm
avron: (pink)

Presumably that is heavily dependant on who else is playing (and the GM) but the same is true for most games, RPG or otherwise. I don't even remember what made me decide I wanted to take part instead of just watching the Facebook group go by. Tonight was week two of adventuring, with three different GMs running games, each at (or just above) the limit of players. This bodes well for SAGA role-playing although it's not quite so good for a diversity of games. The lack of long term commitment works though, as it's not hard to miss a week and join back into a game. I'll probably not take part for a month or so, then again, I hadn't thought I'd take part at all.

As to the actual game I played in, there were six players, four of us were (I believe) completely new to the game and the other two had played last week but wanted new characters. After a 30 minute or so introduction to how the character sheets work and us making the choices we wanted to, we started off on the adventure.
The island we'd been sent to was suspected to be the home of dubious characters and so we set off to find traces of them. After a minor incident with a river and losing some stuff we found an individual with tattoos that had fallen down a cliff, although it was not a big cliff. Examination turned up some worrying things and nearly caused (presumably) loss of life among the characters. Clever action led to the immediate danger being removed from the group, but probably not actually dealt with in a complete, final manner so there could be more danger there. Minor party split, which worked out better than it might have, occurred with one of the characters flying off into the distance to examine the ship that could be seen in the distance while the rest of the party went to examine the mountain the was faintly shimmering. Entrance through the shimmer left the party in a tunnel, that quickly turned out to have a lot of pit traps, each of which ended up leading to a bottomless hole that broke the laws of creation as I know them.
Three of the party ended up there for a while, falling into the hole and then back out, while the other two party members headed to the other end of the tunnel where they found evil afoot. A better shot from the ranger could have led to a much more satisfactory end, especially the Paladin surviving. However, the target was missed, flunkies came to fight and the Paladin heroically gave his life to take out another of the flunkies after managing to dispatch one of them in a 3-on-1 fight. The ranger had redeemed himself a little by dispatching one of the flunkies but was caught up in dealing with a second while the Paladin was sacrificing himself. Just in time to have the three remaining party members join the Ranger and deal with the last flunky that had been fighting the Paladin.
Final fight had the four remaining party work together to dispatch the main troublemaker although one of them passed out for a while. With the bad guy out of the picture the distant party member found things changing where he was so he turned around and flew back to the ship that had taken the party to the island in the first place. All in all things could have gone a lot worse, both for the party and the world in general it seems.

Musings on Marriage

2013-Mar-05, Tuesday 11:45 pm
avron: (pink)
Well, now, time to antagonise some people it seems.

For quite a while now the subject of marriage has been in the news and whether or not the definition of marriage should be expanded. The religious right and conservatives in general are saying that Marriage must be between a man and a woman, anything else isn't marriage. The left and liberals etc. are saying that marriage is a human right and everyone should be free to marry whomever they want to marry.

My opinion, to get it out of the way, is that I can't decide one way or the other. And the specifics of why will be dealt with at the end of this rambling.

Christians take the viewpoint that marriage is defined as the union of a man and a woman in a ceremony sanctioned and consecrated by God. All well and good, but modern Christians also happen to ignore (or are ignorant of) the other marriage definitions from the Old Testament involving things they now consider abhorent, like forcing a rape victim to marry her rapist as long as he pays dowry to her father. (I'm not sure of dowry part of that and am not going to go looking for specifics.)
The part that I'm more interested here, because I don't think I have ever seen it brought up, by either side, is the God sanctioned part. At no point have I seen anyone bring up the issue that if marriage is between a man and a woman because that is what God defined then those that don't have faith in Him shouldn't be getting married. I can't see those that object to the change bringing it up, it would almost certainly erode almost (if not all) support from the non-religious that they have for keeping the definition as it currently is.I can't be the only one to have this thought though, why is it that I've never seen those wanting to change the definition of marriage bring it up as a way to get the non-religious traditionalists to consider how narrow the Church might make the definition?
And how many of those arguing against redefinition of marriage have considered the Old Testament attitude towards it?

That didn't take as much rambling as I expected. Maybe I didn't have as much to say as expected.
As to why I can't decide... I do think marriage should be between a man and a woman. I'm aware enough of my thoughts to realise that I have been conditioned to think that way by society and, to a lesser extent, my faith. I also think that it should be a God sanctioned thing. This is my thinking, my opinion.
That would however mean my parents shouldn't have married (and I shouldn't exist), I struggle to accept that as a reasonable outcome: to a large extent I like me and want to exist. My parents aren't perfect by any means but I've seen no reason to think they have a marriage that shouldn't count as one.
So either I accept the "Christian" stance that people shouldn't be able to marry if they aren't a man/woman pairing, and I have to extrapolate to them also having faith in the God I serve. Or I accept that anyone marries.
avron: (1981)

30 years ago. Not quite 1.
Well, obviously I don't really have a clue about what I thought or felt this far back. I am confident that my parents and I had already moved up to Weston from Balclutha, if not it happened soon after. It would probably have been at some point in the following year that I found the controls for the central heating on at least one morning so that my parents got up to very warm floors

25 years ago. Nearly 6.
My family had shifted to Gore, where we initially stayed with my maternal grandparents and then moved to a house in East Gore. That house is the one I really remember having neighbours to play with. Over the back fence and across the road there were cousins with families similarly aged to my sister and I. And neighbouring the family across the road were another couple of families that would join us on occasion. One of those girls was the first girl I had a crush on and I remember getting teased by others of the group because she and I would walk ahead of them as we walked to school. I also had a friend next door that must have been at least four years older than me as he was going to the local Intermediate School instead of the Primary School I was. I don't know how much of the three years I lived in this house I was friends with the guy in question but I do remember building planes with him from the TORRO that I had.

20 years ago. Nearly 11.
My first year at Intermediate school and the first time I needed to wear a uniform for school. I started this year knowing more of my classmates than anyone else seemed to, because I had spent the prior two and a bit years at West Gore School (due to my family shifting yet again) and two and a bit years at East Gore School. I was old enough to want to be alone at school that first day (and not have my mother around) but not yet mature enough to be confident on my own before finding out what class I was in. Most of my class was organised in pairs of desks with one boy and one girl, I got the seat at the back of the room between two girls, neither of whom I knew already. That year I managed perfect attendance and developed a couple of long term friendships.

15 years ago. Nearly 16
High School, my second last year was about to begin. I had chosen to take Calculus, Statistics, Physics, Chemistry, Geography and English as my subjects so this was the year I stopped getting any regular exercise besides walking to and from school (no PE class). It was also a few months after I'd first gone to the youth group my sister had started going to near the start of the prior year when our neighbour (who was one of the leaders) invited her along and she found that one of her classmates was also going. (Unsurprising as the classmate was one of the children of the Pastor.) That youth group was when I first became truly aware of my issue with socialising, at least half those nights there was a pot luck and I would typically find my appetite gone before we got to the church. Even with me sharing classes (for the prior three years) with two of the girls that went to that youth group I think it took me at least a year to pick up on the fact they were step-sisters.

10 years ago. Nearly 21
My first year no longer in any sort of educational institution. I'd just ended three years at the Christchurch Polytech, doing a course that should have taken two years, and still failing to finish it completely. The idea of going out and getting a job still seemed quite scary and while I looked at job ads I don't remember applying for any (although I did query the possibility of Data Entry at one point). Instead, I spent far too much of my time reading (250 books that year), and, after building a PC from parts, watching DVDs. I had spent the past two years living in the bedsit I was in at that point and was not friends with anyone in the building although I would occasionally talk to a couple of the longer term residents. My sister had spent the prior year in one of the Uni Halls of Residence and was spending this year flatting so I probably spent more time with her than with anyone else. I didn't maintain any contact with any of the others that had been taking the same classes as I was.

5 years ago. Nearly 26
About two weeks after the end of the only romantic relationship I've ever had I shifted into this flat. I saw the ad on a Saturday, looked over the flat on the Sunday after Church, and moved in on the Monday morning. I still don't really know the flatmate that's been here longer than me, each of us are introverts, keep different schedules due to our respective work hours and tend to spend excessive amounts of time with our respective computers. During that January I'd been living in Shirley as a temporary measure between my prior flat splitting (after three and bit years of changes) and finding another. Living there had also led to me not working as it was too far to walk to the job I had and buses didn't run at the right times. Apart from that I'd spent most of the three prior years employed at the job I still have, getting enough money for me to live comfortably, with a couple of shortfalls. It was, I think around this time that I seriously started helping with the Children's Church program at RBC although I had been helping beforehand. Not long after I moved in here a couple of people started taking steps to get me to head to Hillsong Conference in the middle of the year. That was the first time I'd left NZ and the conference the next year was the second and final time. Shortly after shifting I started working again, and about two months later was taken on by the company itself instead of working through the temp agency, leading to more hours and slightly better pay.

Right now.
I have just under seven weeks until my 31st birthday, I will be 'celebrating' by playing board games if I can. Just over four years ago I re-found the BGG thread about gaming in Christchurch and started attending the weekly meetings. After a couple of years I'd been missing one night every couple of months, more recently it hasn't even been that often that I miss a Wednesday night session. Currently I'm anticipating the restart of Canterbury University, not because I'll be studying, but because it means that SAGA will be in operation again and I'll get to spend four nights a week playing board games the way I was for the second half of last year. Three years have passed since I first got asked to help with Mainly Music sessions at RBC, my expectation is that I'll continue going along there instead of working Wednesdays. I continue to feel isolated most of the time, I have come to terms with it though, and I've realised that it is largely in my head.

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Nearly four months have gone by since I last posted here. This sort of post frequency might be improved, but I have doubts. Bits from the past four months that I feel have some importance (and can remember).
  • One of my closest friends is about to leave the country to work in Australia for a while.
  • I'm currently back to gaming four nights a week. SAGA has bookings at the Uni again after months of relocations thanks to earthquake damage. And gaming has been relocated on a few Wednesday nights to yet another side of the city compared to where I had already been gaming.
  • Especially on the days I don't get to game in person I've started using BSW again after a couple of years of not even signing in. Mainly Dominion and 7 Wonders because they take about 10 minutes, but also a few games of Peurto Rico, Stone Age and other heavier games.
  • On the Friday mornings I'm not at work I've been helping with child minding at a parents group, basically trying to make sure the parents can talk without being interrupted every minute.
  • Work has fluctuated from no days at all in a week up to three days, it's been quite a while since I did four. (I am still averaging 8-10 a month though.)
  • My Church no longer feels like MY church. Over the past 2-3 years people have been migrating in and out and the group that I would initially think of when thinking of RBC is no longer there. With the pastor and his family leaving in a couple of months there's going to be almost no-one still there that was attending when I started a little over 7 years ago.
  • Three of my friends are pregnant and due near the end of the year. Another is due in a month or two. Keeping intact the run of me having at least one pregnant friend for what seems like practically the past five years.
  • My parents have shifted out of the house they'd been living in for the better part of a decade. I spent much of Easter weekend helping them move the big stuff out of the rental place, into the truck, and then into the new place.
  • I feel like I haven't read a book in a reasonable time frame since the end of February. With one exception due to a particularly easy couple of days at work. Lacking the self-control to not immediately turn on a computer when I'm ready to relax is a big part of that.
  • If my TV is on these days it's probably to watch the TED talks airing on what I believe to be an amatuer channel, failing that it's tuned to the Korean channel. Even when I can't understand what's being said I'm more interested in that, than the rubbish on most of the other channels.
  • Had the Warehouse stocked the first season of MacGyver this afternoon I'd have spent nearly $140 buying the complete run of it.

I don't think that there's any real point to what I'm writing here now. But I continue to feel as though I should be writing something more often. The facebook and twitter updates have undoubtedly lessened my motivation/need to write here. As will the fact that I now spend a fair amount of time out of my home, either gaming, working (some weeks), or at church things.
I probably get similar 'fulfillment' from dealing with things at LibraryThing that I used to updating this. Probably even more, as I know what I'm doing is useful, even if not very.


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