A better weekend

2016-Jun-14, Tuesday 11:39 pm
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I'm not sure the weekend I just had wasn't better than the Bucket's of Dice weekend at the start of the month. I didn't play anywhere near as many games but I feel like I might have had a better time. I only spent 24 hours away from my flat instead of the better part of 72 involved in Buckets stuff or sleeping between days.

Saturday night I walked to the new home of a couple of friends for their housewarming (missing one turn that cost me a couple of minutes). While there I got to spend a little while interacting with someone I've been friends with on-line for a few years, as well as limited interaction with others besides the friends I went to see. Once most of the attendees had left there was some limited conversation between the hosts and myself, where I talked about a couple of things I likely wouldn't have a few months ago. Fairly soon after I arrived the nerves I feel in such situations were pretty much gone, still not wanting to eat but I did snack for the rest of the evening.

With another friend I hadn't seen in person for a couple of years moving back to the city recently and the housewarming being sort of half way there I had asked earlier in the week if she wanted company on the Sunday. I ended up spending the night on the couch and apart from waking due to cat standing on my chest slept quite well considering. I waited around a while after waking properly to make sure I could say goodbye to both of the couple, and learnt a bit more about D&D stuff as everyone else was discussing the game. My walk to the other house ended up being nowhere near as direct as it should have been due to me missing a turn and not being familiar with the area, about 25 minutes more walking than I had intended. Thankfully the rain that had been forecast didn't eventuate although it was colder than I'd have preferred.

Once I got there however the two of us quickly settled back to the comfortable hugging and general closeness that was normal when we saw each other often. I got to meet her cat Luna, and we were both surprised with Luna eventually allowing me to stroke her head while she sat off to my side. I also got to see some "old" TV due to her flat having netflix(?), including a few episodes of Buffy, that I really should get around to watching again after not really seeing it for a decade (besides the four(?) episodes I watched with my most recent ex). I also had conversations with her that I'd likely not have had months ago, especially back when we were seeing a lot of each other. I don't know when we'll arrange to spend more time together, distance is enough that I'm not wanting to walk that far often, and she's still getting used to the new place. I have however arranged to take over a video game that she hadn't been aware of and am now thinking I might find a couple of books as well.

Things change

2015-Jul-28, Tuesday 11:43 pm
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In about a month or so I'm going to start being home on Monday nights a lot more than I have been for the past four and a half years. The guys that have been hosting games nights since the start of 2011 are moving even further away (after shifting at the start of last year). This time they're going to be more than 3km away and while that won't be a problem every week, I'm not going to want to walk that far in the middle of winter, or when the rain is falling, or if I have work in the morning. And while taking the bus would be an option it would also end up costing me $5 a week that I'm currently not spending and I don't see that happening. With the Wednesday group being only every three weeks or so for me now because of distance and Friday gaming all being a lot further away than I like going in an evening I'm going to be down to SAGA and maybe once a month on Wednesday for board games. I hope to maybe get one Saturday a month with other friends but I'm not sure how consistent that will be and it already feels weird to know that my game count is going to drop so much.

According to the "On This Day" feature of Facebook, I had spent my evening seven years ago entertaining a baby by shaking my head. Unless I'm mistaken the same activity failed to entertain either of her sisters when they reached the same age, although I'm fairly confident the youngest of them wasn't in a position that I tried it.
On the other hand, two years ago my second relationship had ended (possibly the day before) and my mood today is closer to that day than the one further back. Partly because today was my third day of work this month (after missing out on a single shift due to flat phone battery) and while tomorrow I have another shift that won't help enough. I don't miss the work, I do miss knowing I have money coming in. Which is why I will be sending a message tomorrow after I get home asking for a few more details about the job offer from a friend that I received recently. Consistent hours would be far better for me than continuing to not know how to drive a forklift. (A skill I will apparently have no difficulty learning according to one of those where I work.)

I miss being in a relationship, the cuddling, kissing, and chatting online in the evenings. I miss knowing that when I show up certain places I'll be greeted as more than a friend. I don't see that feeling changing anytime soon though, I'm not doing anything to meet women I might develop such a relationship with and don't really want to go out doing new things.

Busy weekend

2015-Apr-28, Tuesday 11:54 pm
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I spent my Saturday helping friends shift home, most of which I was more actively watching over the children than shifting things. I also ended up having a short conversation about where I'm at faith wise and while I didn't go over everything I probably told her more than I'd have expected to.
Sunday was spent at the Uni with the SAGA group, I personally played a couple of games that take longer than is reasonable in the regular sessions with a number of others getting played as well. Die Macher showed me again that five is better than four, although it would likely have taken close to an hour longer if we'd had that extra player. I also managed to overbid at one point due to not realising the one thing I really wanted wasn't going to be taken from me. In the game of Eclipse we played I get fortunate explore actions and was able to boost my Money tracks to maximum and Research almost as much. Being nearest to a player that was effectively hemmed in with Ancients also helped my expansion.
Monday morning I was part of a meeting for the planning of the upcoming Buckets of Dice con, things seem mostly taken care of. I'll be doing my desk duty first thing, leaving me the rest of the weekend to play games, without concern for when I'll need to leave.

The weekend Steam sale had Skyrim cheap and free-to-play for a couple of days. Even with me away from the flat for much of the weekend I still got to play 10 hours or so and have since been gifted the actual game. So like StarCraft II occupied many hours at the end of last year, I'm expected Skyrim to be the big time sink for the next couple of weeks (or more).

It seems that this date has more significance for me than I've paid much attention to recently. The FaceBook "On This Day" link shows me that it was nine years ago today that I went to the Harvest Crusade thing and made the decision to follow Christ. Less than six months later actions I took indicated that I hadn't taken that conversion seriously. Actions in the years since just confirm that, largely the basis for me not considering myself a Christian anymore. On the same date last year I had a friendship change, but because I don't make an effort at almost anything that change receded and the friendship is probably worse off now.

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Except it really isn't for a lot of people.
Parents are unable to buy as much for their children as they want (or feel they are expected) to. Single people see friends doing things with partners, getting a very unwelcome reminder of singleness. Some people feel forced to work more hours to earn the money for presents, and some are unable to work as much as they want to earn money for presents. Many people are going to be spending time with family that doesn't understand them so they'll feel judged etc. And many no longer have certain family members to spend time with.
All in all the whole season has become other than it ought to be, and I write that as an agnostic. The season for goodwill etc. has become a time of over commercialisation and disconnect. I haven't really cared about Christmas as a thing for the past decade or more, and I care less this year. So while I expect to spend some of tomorrow evening at the thing being held by my church (and at some point I'm probably going to stop calling it "my" church) the majority of this Christmas season I'll be on my own, doing nothing of consequence.

It has long been said that the things we regret in life are the things we didn't do. I'm not likely to go into details, even if asked, but for the most part that is how things are with me. I look back and see things I didn't do, for various reasons, and regret not taking chances or getting out of my comfort zone. The fact that when I've thought I might go do abnormal things I've often ended up feeling (or, on rarer occasion, actually being) sick has led to me be far less inclined than I might have been. But having taken some more chances with things I've regretted less of this year than prior I think. Time may indicate otherwise.

Games and illness

2014-Dec-09, Tuesday 11:30 pm
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I had a good night at SAGA last Thursday getting to play Puerto Rico and Race for the Galaxy, winning all three games. Tonight was also good, although I only won the middle game of DC Comics, thoroughly behind in Libertalia and quickly out in most rounds of Love Letter.
I have spent a lot of my recent week playing StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty, finishing the campaign on the easiest difficulty, and before I went out to SAGA today I started down the last set of missions on Normal difficulty. I expect to go back and try and get through them all on Hard difficultly (or at least try) but I'm not expecting to manage the extra achievements on most of them. At least some are timed missions, and I've barely managed the required time on the Normal difficulty.

I was supposed to have work yesterday, an odd shift from noon until 1700. I hadn't remembered to turn off the alarm I normally use and managed to sleep through it going off every ten minutes for an hour. I didn't realise early enough that it was so early and got up to have breakfast. Not long after that however I started feeling unwell and decided to go back to bed, making sure to have a bucket nearby. After an hour or so I cancelled the shift, figuring earlier that I might come right with more rest. More bed rest had me feeling better, but I still spent almost all day on this recliner, not really eating much and making use of the big TV.

Things aren't great

2014-Mar-25, Tuesday 10:59 pm
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"My life happens to, on occasion, suck beyond the telling of it. Sometimes more than I can handle."
And while that's not an accurate representation of life, it is how I've been feeling for a while.

On my way to SAGA tonight I had the thought that if I got to play Agricola I would probably either do very well or quite poorly. There weren't a lot of people there to start with, the weather probably had a few people stay home, and three of us sat down with Agricola, partly to avoid someone else. We got through the game quickly and I finished with what almost certainly has to be the best score I've ever had. 19 points after the first seven categories, when I'm normally lucky to manage a dozen. Home and people was another 19 which is more standard, although I have something of a reputation for more. Getting another 20 from my cards was unexpected. 61 total points when anything more than 40 is usually considered competitive.

In positive news, I had thought my bank balance was a lot lower than it actually is, after failing to update records with the two most recent deposits from my employer. Not that I'm rolling in money by any means but things are better than I'd started thinking. Not to the point that I'd have turned down work tomorrow for Mainly Music had I known but still better.

Older now

2014-Mar-18, Tuesday 11:50 pm
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I woke up late this morning, but at least it was still this morning. I didn't really do anything for about six hours besides listen to a few podcasts and catch up with more BGG and other things online. Some small amount of game time and dealing with food also happened but most of the six hour spread was spent sitting here on my bed killing time.
I finished HexCells and HexCells Plus a couple of weeks ago after a friend gifted them to me on Steam. I recommend anyone that has enjoyed Minesweeper have a look. If I had the money I'd also be getting a copy of Democracy 3 that is available. At least a couple of friends have played and enjoyed it.

When I did leave the house I got takeaways on my way to SAGA as it seemed worthwhile eating more. As per normal it took a while before the RPG groups headed to the other room and people started making choices about what board games to play. Partly due to how few board gamers were present at the start time. Once a decision was made I taught three new players how to play Ad Astra and had all of us beaten by another player that showed up as I was finishing the rules explanation. I was in a game of DC after that, where most of us had particular cards we wanted purchased by another player. And there was one particularly unpleasant hand for one player that saw him lose one of his 5-point cards to the middle (where I purchased it).

33 years old and it feels like there's not a damn thing of worth in my life now that wasn't already there 5 years ago, and barely anything more from 10-15 years for that matter. A few different friends, but others are gone. Different laptop, but a computer is just a computer. New stuff but that's just stuff and would be easily replaced should it go and I started working more.
I am admittedly depressed at the moment, probably a combination of various factors, but I just don't see much going on that's worthy of note.
If my feelings about things don't change in the next couple of weeks or so I'm going to be cease attending church.

avron: (Survive)
Sure, I venture out on occasion, but that tends to be only so I can play games, attend Church, replenish supplies, and earn the means of paying for those supplies. This isolation is almost entirely of my own creation, at High School I wasn't interested in the conversations (limited though I suppose they were) that the guys had and so I kept quiet and wasn't invited to much of anything that was happening. That became even more pronounced after High School when I was at Polytech and wasn't interested in going out drinking or the other things that might have allowed bonding.
Over the past several years the time I've spent at Church and the Small Group related to it have put me back in touch with people but I still don't feel as though I connect. I do have the leader of that Small Group to thank for my only long term hobby though, he introduced me to Settlers of Catan back in late 2004 and that led to Carcassonne, which led to Ticket to Ride, and then I joined the Christchurch Euro Gamers back in 2008. I do not know (or want to) what I'd be doing with my life now if I hadn't been introduced to modern board games. My expectation is something like hours with video games where I'd spend no time with people except what I couldn't avoid when working or shopping.
Now, my relationship with my extended family has become practically non-existent, due to me avoiding what few big gatherings have occurred over the past half dozen years. I still see my parents a few times a year and would probably see my sister often if she was living a lot closer. Getting down to it though, I've never really felt any thing missing by not having that family around me, probably because I always felt like the black sheep of my family. Most of my cousins are noticeably older; my interests, such that I had interests, were divergent from what I gathered others had.

The upshot of all of this is that I'm expecting to miss the funeral of my maternal Grandfather. He has recently had to spend time in hospital, is still there in fact, but there is an unspoken implication that he may be passing soon. I don't remember seeing him since my sister got married at the start of 2004. I may have seen him at one or two Christmas gatherings since then. I've only been to one of the family gatherings since I shifted into this flat five years ago and that was the first Christmas.
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Nearly four months have gone by since I last posted here. This sort of post frequency might be improved, but I have doubts. Bits from the past four months that I feel have some importance (and can remember).
  • One of my closest friends is about to leave the country to work in Australia for a while.
  • I'm currently back to gaming four nights a week. SAGA has bookings at the Uni again after months of relocations thanks to earthquake damage. And gaming has been relocated on a few Wednesday nights to yet another side of the city compared to where I had already been gaming.
  • Especially on the days I don't get to game in person I've started using BSW again after a couple of years of not even signing in. Mainly Dominion and 7 Wonders because they take about 10 minutes, but also a few games of Peurto Rico, Stone Age and other heavier games.
  • On the Friday mornings I'm not at work I've been helping with child minding at a parents group, basically trying to make sure the parents can talk without being interrupted every minute.
  • Work has fluctuated from no days at all in a week up to three days, it's been quite a while since I did four. (I am still averaging 8-10 a month though.)
  • My Church no longer feels like MY church. Over the past 2-3 years people have been migrating in and out and the group that I would initially think of when thinking of RBC is no longer there. With the pastor and his family leaving in a couple of months there's going to be almost no-one still there that was attending when I started a little over 7 years ago.
  • Three of my friends are pregnant and due near the end of the year. Another is due in a month or two. Keeping intact the run of me having at least one pregnant friend for what seems like practically the past five years.
  • My parents have shifted out of the house they'd been living in for the better part of a decade. I spent much of Easter weekend helping them move the big stuff out of the rental place, into the truck, and then into the new place.
  • I feel like I haven't read a book in a reasonable time frame since the end of February. With one exception due to a particularly easy couple of days at work. Lacking the self-control to not immediately turn on a computer when I'm ready to relax is a big part of that.
  • If my TV is on these days it's probably to watch the TED talks airing on what I believe to be an amatuer channel, failing that it's tuned to the Korean channel. Even when I can't understand what's being said I'm more interested in that, than the rubbish on most of the other channels.
  • Had the Warehouse stocked the first season of MacGyver this afternoon I'd have spent nearly $140 buying the complete run of it.


I don't think that there's any real point to what I'm writing here now. But I continue to feel as though I should be writing something more often. The facebook and twitter updates have undoubtedly lessened my motivation/need to write here. As will the fact that I now spend a fair amount of time out of my home, either gaming, working (some weeks), or at church things.
I probably get similar 'fulfillment' from dealing with things at LibraryThing that I used to updating this. Probably even more, as I know what I'm doing is useful, even if not very.
avron: (Survive)
I don't tend to talk much about serious things, either in person or here on this journal. Largely that's because I'm selfish and don't want to look beyond my own little world of books, board games, church things, my computer and the small amount of TV I bother to watch.

But yesterday was the funeral of someone I regret not getting to know better when I would see her nearly every day at school, or after reconnecting a little thanks to FaceBook. Without transport of my own, and sleeping through the ten minute warnings from my alarm until nearly an hour had gone by, I was not in a position to attend the funeral. Something more to add to the list of regrets, a list that is normally added to with things far less serious.
The death of someone my age, who had been making a good life for herself and her family has shaken me, but not to the extent it should have. I continue to feel indestructible, which is in itself bizarre, considering the frequency I feel ill with no physical cause. Apart from the fact there's water restrictions, and the SAGA club at Uni hasn't started back up again, my life is back to the way it was. Work when offered, games when others are keen, Church on Sunday, and time in front of one of my computers the rest of the time I'm not sleeping.
I ended up heading to my church instead to help with the Mainly Music session. Something I'd been sort of intending for a month or so anyway.

I've been very fortunate in both the big quakes we had here in Christchurch.
The first woke me up and lasted long enough that I was in the doorway of my room for at least a few seconds before it stopped. I was back in bed minutes later, and trying to get back to sleep when I got a text from a frightened friend. So I ended up spending much of that day with her, doing what little I could to help her stay calm with the aftershocks. When I got back to my flat the power was back on and I started catching up on the news, settling back to my normality almost immediately.
The more recent quake occured while I was at work and apart from grabbing the log lifter beside me I didn't really react a lot as I got shook. Once the alarm went off I left the building, by a different exit to everone else in the room, even though I thought it was the exit that would be used by at least a couple of the others due to proximity. When I was allowed back into the building I collected my stuff and then spent at least 20 minutes in a car getting driven out to the road and then across the front of where I work. That was the point I decided to walk and I'm sure I got home an hour earlier than I otherwise would have. To find damage limited to a couple of glasses and the lamp that was only ever used by the flatmates that left a year earlier. After cleaning up the glass on the floor and a short discussion with our landlord I went out to check on the friend mentioned earlier and another couple also nearby, who have a couple of small children. While there had been damage it was obvious that this part of the city got off lightly.
Since all that however, I've become aware of the vast increase in damage to the city compared to the first quake, especially the east side. And of course I've seen the death toll rising since I started seeing TV coverage. A death toll that I never expected to include someone I knew from High School.

Contentment

2010-Sep-23, Thursday 09:03 pm
avron: (bike)
This week at the small group the topic up for discussion was contentment and how many people have issues because they're not content with what they have. Especially in the western world. Ironically enough I feel many of my "problems" have been due to me being too content with the way my life is. Most people want more and more stuff, partly due to advertising, and find themselves discontent with their lives even though masses of people elsewhere in the world would consider our lives to be luxurious. It seems that I've missed out on that particular motivating factor, to a large extent anyway. The only thing I've been really discontent about for the past six months is my PC and how slow it has become. But after six months I've done nothing to fix it, I continue to complain on occasion, but I haven't spent any money even though I know almost exactly what I want and have done from early on. Especially after the recent economic downturn I've been very disinclined to go looking for a better job, partly because I know I'm fortunate to have a job at all. And yet it's been more than six years now that I've been working where I am and I have said from very early on that I should be doing something else.
I suppose my contentment boils down more to the fact that I detest change. Even though I know that change can be good, some of it very good, I actively avoid seeking it out most of the time, regardless of possible motivations. I still feel surprise when I look back to me joining two new game groups, SAGA in May and the WNGs at the start of 2008. I knew nobody at either when I first went along, they were at places I was unfamiliar with and to some extent I didn't know what I'd be doing there (specifically what games would be played.) I am now glad I went along to each, the WNG sessions especially, as I've been able to play a lot of games I would never have otherwise seen and I have friends that I likely wouldn't ever have met otherwise.

In less introspective thoughts... I've got work tomorrow, for the fourth day this week. I could have worked this morning (or afternoon) as well but when it had been more than six months since I last did more than three days in a week I wasn't wanting to go four in a row. Looking back over the past 18 months I've only had more than three days a week twice until this week. That lack of income can also reflect on my level on contentment, I expect a normal person would be very unhappy with such a limited income but it has provided me with enough to eat and pay rent with some discretionary funds left over.

On the whole I'm becoming less and less content as the months go by. Realising that there are things I want to do but can't. People I want to spend time with but can't, or that I don't feel up to contacting. The ever increasing awareness of how much of my life is wasted time with nothing to show for it.
Second guessing myself about other people continues to be an issue as well, I don't think I'm ever going to feel even remotely confident in reading what others want or think.
avron: (door)

Apart from sleeping I've been spending most of my time since returning to Christchurch yesterday afternoon updating things online and catching up on what I missed while away. After I finish this entry I think I'm "up to date" apart from one thing on the BGG site so I'll probably be back to normal activities after church tomorrow.

Boxing day games was attended about as well as a typical Wednesday night session and much of my time involved teaching games. I also spent a while playing Braid again and have probably played through 75% or so of the game now.
I think Tongiaki actually works better with more people, the increased "randomness" of more people seems to fit the game better than the increased planning possible with just three involved. Wasabi, after nearly a year since my only two other plays, remains a game I'll play if nothing better is on offer but I'll not be suggesting it. For whatever reason the interactions do nothing for me. Ticket to Ride: Marklin continues to confound me as far as city names are concerned, making it longer as I try and find the right place. The game itself is a nice step-up from the original though and I won't object to playing it when someone wants a game at the Wednesday night sessions. It seems that Manila isn't a game that I'll get many chances to play, most of those recently introduced to it dislike it or, at best, tolerate it. Contrary to other people's expectations I shouldn't be left in sole charge of "book-keeping" in Power Grid, I missed at least two plant removals due to network size in my most recently played game and could well have missed other issues in the same game. I'm also going to need to be less thrifty in the mid-game so I can maintain capacity where it's important.

My trip up to the church camp started out okay but before we reached Culverden I was feeling ill and it was probably good for me that the couple giving me a lift were wanting to spend an hour there to catch up on a friend as it allowed me plenty of time to get fresh air and walk around. Even with a couple of hours between arriving at the camp and the first meal being served I hadn't really recovered all that well but I did eat more than I'd have expected to manage when I arrived. Those two hours consisted (for me) of a lot of walking around the camp and occasionally helping a little with people unloading vehicles or putting up tents or whatever. I also spent some time with my Diabolo and Flower Sticks and watching some of the others try to use them.
The rest of camp )

avron: (long hair)
I spent last Sunday morning in the service for almost the entire time it was happening and intend the same for this coming Sunday. With the school holidays coming up the weekend after that it may actually end up being about a month that I'm not helping with the Children's Church. With those holidays I will also not have plans on the two Wednesday mornings so I'll be heading to work if there is any available those two days. Taking the number of days I'll be available for work for the rest of the year to just over 40.
Socialising afterwards was limited to lunch at McDonalds but it was still good to spend time with those people, even if one of them had the 'flu' after a fun night out.

I've been told I'll be "hosting" games in a couple of weeks while the normal hosts are busy. I don't think that it's going to make a lot of difference in how the evening goes though. With at least two tables going most nights it's not uncommon for at least one game to be going without either of them involved.
Last night I played my first Catan game there for about a year. Cities & Knights which is why I was willing to play (and the other choice being a game I prefer to not play) and I was clarifying rules as we went as neither of the other two really remembered all the details introduced by the expansion. All three of us lost our initial cities which made the game longer than it otherwise would have been but it was still good for me. After that was done and I'd had the opportunity to play the Batman: Arkham Asylum demo I played a couple of games of Blue Moon City with someone that had shown up late. The first of which I managed to lose by virtue of being unable to do anything more constructive partway through which would have left my opponent in a position to build as and where he wanted. The second of those games went a little better for me, I was still beaten but had continued to be able to do things.
The abundance of game choice each Wednesday night leads to indecision about what to play, mitigated somewhat by the couch of games in the lounge. Having new people also contributes to that I think, they're not as sure of what is available to be played and would need to learn more than most of the others. Me not wanting to play "complicated" games most nights also limits what will get played some evenings, there's only a thin line of overlap between myself and one of the regulars as he likes the games I tend to find too in depth.

I'm continuing to have things on most days recently, but it's nowhere near enough that I'm not still spending hours here in front of my PC. This month or so is also such that I'm going to feel the solitude more than normal, I expect that to get a lot better later in the year, especially November and December. Helped by the weather change as well.

Duality

2009-Apr-28, Tuesday 11:26 pm
avron: (red face)
Three years ago to the day I made the best decision I've ever made. Less than six months later I'd made the worst. In the time since I've been living with the results of that duality. Other people, mostly people I know from church, continue to tell me I'm a different person than I was but as I continue to "live in the past" I don't tend to see those changes, especially without prompting. I do find myself wanting things I didn't previously want (or at least not such that I'd do anything to get them) and am unsure how to go about getting them. Or more accurately how I could get them without a lot of effort. Working to achieve goals is the one thing I don't seem to match with as far as personality typing goes. I also still face the issue of really disliking trying things and being unsuccessful, failing at something new is normally enough that I won't try again.

Before I'd even made a start on the 20 books I purchased at the bookarama I ended up buying another 5. With work being somewhat slow while there I have been reading though, finishing four of the 20 almost exclusively at work. When (if) I get around to borrowing Library Books again (it may have been three years) I will be reading more Doctor Who books. Even having no memory of the incarnations of the featured Doctors I enjoyed the two books I've now read.

One of the big purchases I was wanting to make has been made. I currently have a 1TB hard drive sitting on my desk, with most of the contents of my desktop transferred to it. The laptop stuff is getting transferred in stages because the laptop still doesn't stay on for any length of time. Once it's all transferred I'll be copying the most important stuff to the laptop (just in case) and then wiping the Desktop again so I can repartition the hard drive and then arrange to dual boot XP and some form of Linux.

Contrary to thinking I wouldn't be helping with Mainly Music anymore (apart from work cancelling on me) I will instead be helping every week. I decided near the end of last week to start taking Wednesdays off instead of Thursdays. This does mean that I'll be sleeping even less before my Thursday morning shift than I do before the others but I will get to sleep in four hours on a Wednesday morning in comparison. It also seems to make more sense that my day off be in the middle of the week so I'm working two days, having one off and then working two more instead of working three and then having one off and one more on. (One other benefit will be bowling on a Tuesday without worrying about straining my shoulder/arm, if I get around to going again.)

There has been another poker night, this time with a different host as the regular host has been in Australia for a holiday. Once again I was first lose all my money but I did manage to last quite a bit longer than I had on the two prior occasions. Part of that may have been the fact there was only four of us (compared to six on the first night) but I'm hopeful that practice is making me better. Once that was finished we played about half a dozen rounds of scum, and for the first time I can remember, someone actually commented on my 'strategy' while playing.

Sorry about that.

2009-Mar-01, Sunday 09:44 pm
avron: (purple)

I managed to drop something of a bombshell on a friend a little while ago. Letting the individual know something that brought about embarrassment and, I'm assuming, will lead to some uncertainty the next time we meet. I might have been better (from my friends perspective at least) keeping the information to myself but after confessing something else just prior it seemed an opportune time to admit the second item. I'm having trouble keeping this circumspect to the point of obscurity but from my perspective there was no cause for embarrassment. The issue, such that it is an issue, has lead me to think some more about how my perspective on things differs from that of others. Obviously, there should be differences in what I think and what those that don't consider themselves Christian think. It's to be expected that my perspective will differ from that of people in different age groups as the society of our respective upbringings will be quite different. But really, I am unsurprisingly of the thought that what I think on a topic is what most rational people should think. If I wasn't I'd be a fool to not change my mind.

In other news, I almost worked another full (for me) week of work after only taking the latter portion of Wednesday off to give myself more time at home in the afternoon. With the game night hosts heading to the Twenty-20 cricket I had been asked to host for the time they were out and was asked to be there two hours earlier than normal. I also happened to be feeling ill enough at work that a new person was commenting on it and telling me I should go get checked out. The intention I had to sleep once I got home lasted only about 20 minutes after I went to bed and then I got up and started using my laptop again.
The night out however was good. Three games played, I won two of them, including Vikings which I've typically done quite poorly on but I seem to be getting better. The new guy did reasonably well and I expect him to be good competition if/when he returns.

The sketching I've been doing at work has been 'transferred' to my laptop after I downloaded a program that, among other things, works like an architectural drafting program. My sense of scale seems quite poor as I had to alter the positioning of several things (including entire walls) when accounting properly for how big particular objects happen to be. Cars, bathtubs, and appliances in general seem to be issues. The program is time limited so I have until next weekend to get done all I want to. If I do continue sketching at work (instead of reading new books) it will be the perspective drawings and not floor plans anymore. Of course how much I remember of where I've put things could prove something of an issue when it comes time to correlate paper/ink and electrons.

Yesterday I was going to be helping a friend with some work but started feeling ill as I got near her place and so I ended up not staying very long. I walked home through Hagley park (where I saw these) and along Riccarton Road where I stopped at a second-hand book store and came out with seven books, one of which I finished about an hour ago.

I can drive

2009-Feb-18, Wednesday 04:12 pm
avron: (Default)
Monday night I went down to my parent's place with my father as he headed home so I could go through the boxes of my stuff they have in storage. There's less than I'd thought, although I didn't actually see just how full the big black crate is. Around noon yesterday my mother mentioned that she was going to turn the car around and put it in the garage, so I went and sat in the driver's seat and had my first ever lesson on how to drive a car. I have no idea how well I'd do on an actual road with actual traffic, but the simple task of making a car move up and down a driveway I can manage. The instructions weren't great, as she does most things automatically and was a little unclear about a couple of things initially, but I didn't crash or run over anything. I don't think I'll be getting proper lessons though, it's still not something I feel any need to know how to do and I still doubt I'd be able to multi-task to the required extent. (A feeling reinforced both by the actual experience on Tuesday and by the bike ride after church Sunday afternoon.)

Child-minding this morning didn't happen, I wasn't feeling good when I got back to the city and it seemed better for me to stay home. Although I did go and actually explain that's what was happening instead of just not showing up. Tomorrows planned events won't be happening either, it seems like a bad idea to spend a lot of time with children.

I've started seeing more of certain people online recently, only one item I've seen was unpleasant for me (although I think it has been good in the longer run). One individual is going to be a mother in a few months which was a surprise but nowhere near what it might have been at the time we were seeing each other on a regular basis. Another doesn't look any older now than she did when we were at school which makes looking at the images a little bizarre. On the other hand I've seen photos of quite a few that do seem different in appearance, almost to the point I wouldn't expect to have recognised them if I saw them on the street.
avron: (long hair)

I'm going to be playing games again tonight, the third night this week, after playing on three separate nights last week as well. Tuesday night I played a couple of games of Scrabble, with less than complete adherence to the rules and did better than I think I would have a year ago, probably largely due to the Word Challenge application at FaceBook. I wasn't close to winning either game but still did better than I'd initially thought I would. Last Saturday night I went out near Westlake and took part in what ended up being a five-hour game of Texas Hold 'em, I was one of the first two out but stuck around because it was fun. According to what was said at the end of the evening it could be a monthly occurrence and won't always be poker games. I also happened to drink alcohol at the past three Wednesday night game sessions, although this most recent night was only finishing off the last of what I hadn't drunk the previous week.
I also think I heard comments on Wednesday night that indicate I'm, once again, going to have to deal with the misconceptions about my relationship with someone (and what I want from the relationship that does exist). After a couple of years without such questions I'd almost welcome it, almost.

Work is scarce at the moment, not to the point of being a problem for me but it would be good to have more work, or actually find motivation to use the extra time in a worthwhile manner. My room is not quite as much of a mess as it had been but there's still a lot of tidying/sorting I should do. On the other hand there's a lot less mess on a few author pages at LibraryThing as I've taken the time to combine/separate, and add Canonical titles to, lots of books.

With the BoardGameGeek 2.0 restart that's just happened I'm needing to manually check a couple of things that I was getting automatically fed to the LJ feed system and while I think I've sorted it I feel like I'm missing things. From what I've seen so far, and what I tend to use of the site, there isn't really much different but I figure the people in charge had good reasons.

I came across information 2.5 weeks ago that has, since I came to terms with it, put the past 2.5-3 years in perspective for me that I don't think I would otherwise have had. I still regret mistakes, and would gladly give up lots of the past three years to avoid the mess I made of things, but I seem to be moving on more than I had been previously. Apart from the past year gaming in Harewood and the Hillsong trips I can't think of much that's happened that really matters in any significant way. But, it's that sort of thinking that prods me to change, not enough yet that I'll really be doing much, but I'm thinking more about making an effort than has been normal for me.

avron: (door)

I think that could continue for at least a couple of weeks.

I've done very little today, mainly playing boardgames online with the BSW client and watching "The Shawshank Redemption" for the second time.

Yesterday I spent almost all my waking hours over in Harewood playing games, winning a couple, losing one and coming in the middle for the other three. I'm going to have to cut back a little on Stone Age plays if I want to avoid getting tired of it, for whatever reason I'm not so keen to play it over and over the way I was with Ticket to Ride when I first got that.

Christmas day I went to the morning service and after spending the end of the time there getting more nauseous I decided to come home for a time instead of heading straight to the afternoon gathering I'd been invited to. After sleeping for about an hour I went walking to get to the gathering. Most of my time there I was watching out for one or more of the children and I didn't bother to eat much as I hadn't recovered enough to feel hungry. By the time most people had left there were a couple wanting to play games and while I was initially keen I started feeling worse as discussions about what to play took place. I headed home again after a few of us had agreed to return later and spent time idling online. Not long after getting back in the evening and starting a game of Ticket to Ride I was actually sick, but, as it's happened before and I've come right soon after I decided to stay and play longer. Having mostly played two player on those occasions I'd played on my board it was a pleasant change to have a four player game, made better by winning. Having all four of us manage exactly the same length of continuous track was something I don't expect to ever see again so that was good as well. Shortly before that was over we had a fifth person show up and while I'd thought he had simply come for the food (leftovers are a fairly common thing at Christmas after all) he agreed to play in a game of Cities & Knights. A game that required using the 5-6 player expansions which I hadn't had to set up in almost a year and a half so it took me a little while to work it out. My placements were a little unwise, and with the dice not rolling what I really needed until about half way through the game I had my worst game ever. She that ended up winning on the other hand was kept from the win for about 30 minutes by the other three conspiring against her in an attempt to keep themselves in the game.

When I haven't been playing games or at church though I've been mostly alone (which is normal) and it seems to have been affecting me more this month than it normally does. Having to deal with the new flatmates and the way they've been changing things won't be helping either. Work itself has been fairly slow recently as well, slow down for seasonal reasons and less of the permanent staff taking holidays than I think is normal.

avron: (dooky)

It seems that those around me are as well for the most part, although I won't be surprised to have a few people rubbing their palms over my head for another week or two.

The day after my head shaving I went out in the evening to play games with him that I used to predominantly play games against. And, like I did about a year earlier, taught his nephew how to play a game, this time it was Alhambra. We also played a couple of games of basic Settlers and at the end of gaming we'd all won a game each.

Last Saturday was the (nearly) annual Christmas Party in the Park that my church has. Having not actually volunteered for anything specific I headed along a little early figuring that there would be something I could help with and ended up not really doing anything helpful for most of the day apart from wandering around watching out for some of the little children. When things ended though I was able to help with some of the pack-up and return of things to the church.

Instead of helping in the main Children's Church area (like I'd thought to opt out of) or sitting through the main service I ended up spending much of last Sunday's church time in the "Little Nugget's" room watching half a dozen 3-4 year olds playing with blocks and other toys. After the service I ended up going for pizza with three others and ate it in a little park I wouldn't have had a clue existed otherwise.
With NaNo only having finished the weekend before and some talk about a TGIO get together I headed back to the Arts Centre as that was where the meetings had been and apart from spending a little time walking around the stalls I could easily have not bothered. It was nice to just lie in the sun for 20 minutes or so though.

The first game I played on the Wednesday night session this week was Stone Age (hopefully with the correct and complete rules this time) and I managed to win in a come from behind manner again. After 5 games it seems my strategy is to avoid taking early points, instead concentrating on those that score at the end of the game. My second game was learning how to play San Juan, which is the card version of Puerto Rico. I found it much more enjoyable than Race for the Galaxy which had initially been developed to be what San Juan became. Maybe it was simply a result of being able to understand San Juan (as it is themed the same way as Puerto Rico) but in comparison I feel that RftG is unnecessarily complicated. The last game I played was Pirate's Cove, in which I did well enough to beat all but he that tends to win most of his games. I think that was the result of purposefully avoiding fights, very un-pirate-like behaviour.
I also picked up a copy of Vikings, having paid for it earlier, and am hoping to play it tomorrow with at least one individual from church. I wanted a copy of Stone Age as well but will have to wait another couple of months for that. :(

Friday I went along to the church shortly after noon and helped prepare food for the Youth Awards happening in the evening, starting with grating two blocks of cheese. Then I cooked mince for nachos and helped a little with clean up. Things had gone better than the 'boss' had expected so it was done earlier than she'd thought it would be.
Going back in the evening I was early but, as seems to be a developing trend, not early enough to really help set much up. After missing it initially I was also made aware that a friend had been involved in a serious accident the night before and ended up largely non-verbal (even more than is normal for me) for a while as I tried to register the fact of it. The rest of the evening was a lot better, apart from me barely eating again. I was very impressed with two particular acts, one for the lyrical compilation, and the other for the fact I couldn't ever see myself doing what they were doing.
Once the last awards were given out most people started heading away and in between periods of helping clean up and rearrange the furniture I spent some more time being 'harrassed' by the young ones.

Time alone, and not.

2008-Sep-08, Monday 06:28 pm
avron: (long hair)

I managed a full (for me) week of work last week, spending most of my time at the normal machine and apparently the operator thinks that I and others are lazy because we don't do certain things that I think she should be doing. The machine was stopping enough on Friday that I managed to read most of the Six Pack Three which I'd purchased on Thursday during my walk. The rest of time I was not needing to work through the week I managed to fill in time with magazine reading, or 'harassing' the ex-forklift driver.

My Wednesday night game session was a little empty due to people waiting around between games as we had three tables and wanted to mix up who was playing with who. Game one for me was Princes of Florence with 4 instead of the 3 I was used to and it did change the auction noticeably. I managed to plan a little better as far as money left at the end was concerned but still came in third, between the two new people. Game two was a four player game of the family version of Agricola, almost completely at my instigation, a decision I regretted come the end of the game. The other three were within 4 points of each other, I was 7 behind third.

Unexpected time away )

With work having been as dull as it's been recently I decided I didn't want to be there on an anniversary I'd rather not be dealing with. Because of that I have taken today and tomorrow off and had been expecting to spend both days completely alone apart from R18 in about an hour. Now I'm thinking I might head to the Church lunch tomorrow and then go bowling afterwards.

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